I'm not a survivor: Rekha

 I owe her an apology. This interview was done long ago. Much before her birthday. Or her last film, Sadiyan, released and sank at the box-office. Ahead of the rains. Even earlier than she got the Padma Shri. But it never got written. Months ago, we spoke at the health club of a suburban five star where religiously works out every evening.

“Sundays included,” she told me over a cup of herbal tea. The tea was awful, but she was on her second cup. And, at whatever her age, from reaching out and touching distance she looked like the proverbial million dollars. Still. Even in baggy tracks and sweaty tee. Perhaps, it was the workout. “I’m not into heavy duty stuff. I listen to me in everything I do,” she said. “No weights but freehand exercises. I do yoga and also cardio. And in between, I dance, stretch myself, there’s no set rules. That applies to my life as well.

It’s important to utilize every bit of your being. Not on a daily basis. I try to on a second basis. But time doesn’t exist in my life. When you savour and relish every moment, then you learn the art of preserving yourself. I don’t use or overabuse myself, don’t do drugs, I eat simple vegetarian food, my mind is not polluted, my mother’s values are imbedded in me. I’m a perceptive person. I know what’s good and I don’t venture into what’s not good. I’ve discovered my own khazana. Everybody should. Before you realise it, life goes by. For me, every day is a rebirth.”

I had gone not to talk about films, because Rekha isn’t active in Bollywood anymore, but to find out how she survived. And kept the world’s interest in her alive. Was she lonely? Did she miss the fame of the screen? Wasn’t she afraid of old age, illness? Yes, she’s known for claiming that she’s God chosen one. But even God’s chosen one has to pay bills. “Survive,” she asked imperiously. “I’m not a survivor.

I live life to the fullest. But I’m a loner. I don’t network or meet people. It’s tacky for a person to talk about herself. For me, luxury is all about my privilege... to meet who I want, where I want, when I want. And how much do you really need? Life is high maintenance the more you acquire. I’m happy with little things that I can take care of, value, and put to use. I rarely do movies. In fact, I’ve got to remind myself that I’m an actor. Time was when I was zero in the bank. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve saved for a rainy day. All the jewellery I have is my Amma’s stuff. It’s been around 40 years. Just a few sets. But I’m very creative.

I wear it differently. Clothes, I mix and match. Twenty years ago I collected a lot of designer wear. Now it’s absurdly expensive. Depending on who’s wearing it, it’s entirely possible to match a tee bought off the road in Europe with something from D&G. I don’t go on dates, I don’t attend parties, visit exotic spas, so what do I have to dress up for? My ultimate dressing is for ghar se airport tak... that’s my biggest catwalk. Sounds pathetic? But that’s my secret!”

The secrets were tumbling out. This was Rekha unplugged. And, maybe on an OD of adrenaline from her workout, she was talking uninhibited and from the heart, grateful to be in the moment. Of course, she is offered films, ads, reality shows, her own TV show, she’s invited to dance at weddings for cash. All of which everybody in Bollywood is doing. “I know what I want to say and when I do it – I’ll do it, but I don’t know when,” she said about television. “I never thought I’d last four decades in the film industry and do the things I’m doing now.

What is there to be afraid of? Don’t waste a single second worrying about what is not in your hands. Just as you didn’t know when you were in the embryo stage, you won’t know when you’re dying. So, you see, I’m living life. Not surviving. Or fighting it. I never read newspapers but don’t miss a thing about what’s happening in Bollywood. I don’t use a cell phone because for me luxury is not being on a leash.

I enjoy gardening though I don’t have a green thumb. I write poetry, paint, do charcoal sketches... anything else you want to know?” I did: what would she like to see on her gravestone? “...That she made me smile,” Rekha said. And smiled, finally.

By Mark Manuel (19th Oct 2010)